Sadira, Plainfield, NJ

What did you think of the script when you first read it?

The first time I read the script for Intimate Chaos, I had it all wrong. I remember immediately connecting with Sadira's vulnerability, but in the way she is vulnerable, it was more in the way that I, Tiffany, would be vulnerable. I had Sadira and Jessie reversed in my mind. It wasn't until the second reading and the subsequent reading of the book, that I got the full and clear picture.

What did you think of Cheril and the original director?

They were both great to work with. Cheril knew exactly what she wanted the show to look like which is a good thing because she was specific which allowed Stephen (Stahl) to be specific in his direction which is something I crave as an actor. Stephen is a brilliant director and was genuinely able to pull so much out of us all using intellect and tact, it was a dream come true.

What about the difference in the show from the premier in Bordentown to its second stop in Philadelphia?

In my experience there is a pitfall of complacency that is easy to fall into the second time you do a show. I don't believe that we fell into that trap, but we did skirt the edges of it. It was a long run, three weeks. We were up against a lot of obstacles that we didn’t have to contend with in the first run, smaller space, minimalist set, etc. However I think that the small amount of adversity bonded us as a cast in a way we had not experienced during the first run.

Devonte' and Sadira, Philadelphia

Speaking of Bordentown, how was that experience?

I thoroughly enjoyed the experience in Bordentown. We rehearsed in the actual performance space for almost the entire rehearsal period which afforded a level of familiarity usually not available during a production of this scale.

Kenya, Jessie and Sadira, Bordentown

What do you think of the evolution of the show, your character and your cast-mates?

This last run in North NJ was PHENOMENAL! We have all grown with these characters so that they are essentially a part of us. Kash Goins’ direction was impeccable.

What is your hope for the future of Intimate Chaos?

I really feel that there is a desperate need for this show to go national, for so many reasons; mostly because it speaks to everyone on a subject that is largely left unspoken in a manner usually unseen and unheard.

How about future work with Cheril?
As always it’s a joy and a pleasure and I hope to work with Cheril on future projects.

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So I got this brilliant idea from none other than my most recent director (and highly respected actor/playwright/producer), Kash Goins. As I followed his journey and got to know the members of the GoKash family I thought how cool it was to give that view to those patrons who only get to see the finished product live on stage. So with that being said…In Q&A format, here is a little bit more about the original actor to bring my character Devonte' to life, Walter DeShields – from Intimate Chaos.

Do you remember what you were doing when you got the call to audition for Intimate Chaos?

I don’t remember what I was doing exactly but I do remember being really excited about my chance to audition. I thought after reading the breakdown of Devonte' I could definitely play the role and I would go to the audition and really try to impress Cheril and Stephen. Here is the email I got from Cheril when I found out I’d be auditioning for Devonte'.

Hi Walter,

For more information on the play you can visit:

www.intimatechaostheplay.com. For more information on the director, you

can visit: www.stephenstahl.com. My websites are listed in my signature

block. I am also attaching an excerpt so you can get a feel for the

character.

Devonte' is Sadira's (the lead) best friend. He adds a bit of comic

relief, yet is worldly and wise. He is very sure of himself and though

silly often makes sense in what he's saying.

I will be in touch with you tomorrow to set up an audition date and time.

If you have any questions please feel free to e-mail me.

–

Cheril N. Clarke

Author | Playwright | Producer

Website: http://www.cherilnclarke.com

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/cherilnclarke

Cool right? The beginning of a beautiful thing!

What did you think of the script when you first read it?

I thought Devonte' was as advertised and saw myself really bringing him to life. I really enjoyed the story and was really intrigued by Sadira and Jessie’s relationship.  I was looking forward to working with my Stacey and hating Jessie.

What did you think of Cheril and the original director?

I really like Cheril. She is really down to the earth, always calm and even keeled. Many producers and writers can be stressed through the production process (and maybe she was) but I don’t ever think I have heard Cheril even raise her voice. Also, I really thought Cheril was a very talented writer with a bright future as an author and playwright.

I liked Stephen instantly as well. I liked his direction in my audition and just had a good time with him throughout the rehearsal process. His thoughts were insightful and he really gave me some lasting tools to continue to use an actor. He was also just a cool person. He drove a cool car, lives in a cool place (New Hope) and had cool hair; definitely a pleasure to be around.

What about the difference in the show from the premier in Bordentown to its second stop in Philadelphia?

Bordentown was a great experience. I liked the theatre and even though we had to drive to the theatre for like a month from Philly, I really didn’t mind. The cast was so much fun and we really developed great relationships throughout the rehearsal process and the run of the show. It was our first time with the script and we did a lot of discovery with our characters, which was a lot of fun as well.

I looked toward a Philadelphia run because it’s home and it would give a lot of my family and friends an opportunity to see me in Intimate Chaos. We were in a great space at the “Red Room” at Society Hill Playhouse right off of South Street in the summer so we could not do any better than that. The cast had changed a little and I looked forward to playing my jokes on new people and receiving new direction from new director Tony Slade. Tiffany and Nichelle were still around and we all welcomed our new cast mates and had a great run, which I think was like 11 shows. I love doing long runs, especially for a show I really like. Lets do BROADWAY!!!

What do you think of the evolution of the show, your character and your cast-mates?

The show has gone through a few changes. I remember there being music in the first show but was removed. Jessie’s brother was supposed to come onstage but was also removed. It seems that all the changes enhanced the show, made the actor’s decisions on stage easier and made the audiences responses more relevant. Devonte’ has changed too. It was evident in the first show that he secretly loved Sadira but I think he just arrived to a place where he just enjoys being her good friend and I’d like to think he has gotten more funny over time; like the time he asked Sadira if she thought Michelle Obama called Barack Mr. President while they had sex….deep right?

Like fine wine, the rest of the cast has gotten better with time. Tiffany and Nichelle have remained the epitome of their characters. Have you seen Kenya? Damn! Tiffany has become Sadira…sometimes I wonder if other women hit on her often; I think that would be kind of cool. The actors that play Jessie and Stacey have changed with each show and I have loved flirting with so many different women; I always think to myself; they pay me to do this…I love it!

What is your hope for the future of Intimate Chaos?

National Tour!!! San Francisco, LA, Miami, ATL, Houston, Chicago, NYC, etc…

How about future work with Cheril?

I truly hope I am able to work with Cheril throughout my career. I imagine us being honored at the Academy Awards sometime in the future; her for best screenplay and me for best actor in her film. The sky is the limit and I would like to take that trip with good folk like Cheril N. Clarke.

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Whew! What's next? Well, again I want to thank the cast, crew, patrons and sponsors of the Plainfield, NJ production of Intimate Chaos the play! As always, it was a big collaborative effort to mount the show and I'm ever grateful to all who help make it come to be. With that being said, I know many of you who do not live in the northeast want to at least get to see the show on DVD. Believe me, I'm working on that. One challenge is getting everyone and everything on the same page at the same time—making sure everything from budget to my desired cast, crew and venue are in sync. So to those who are waiting for that DVD please know that it's at the top of my priority list!

Next up for my stories is another vignette featuring Kenya from Intimate Chaos. This one is entitled Ecstasy, and picks up right where Illusions of Love left off. I just finished the final draft today and expect to send it to my editor by next week. The vignette will be available for sale on June 15, 2010 for $.99 (in ebook format), but I will have an excerpt up much sooner than that!

BOOKS – Yay for books! I've been going through something really funny lately with my characters, Melissa (from Tainted Destiny) in particular. To be honest, I've been trying to write her story for almost nine years now. YEP, NINE YEARS! What I thought would become of her since then has evolved quite a bit, but it's still coming to me slowly. I want to get it out though, to share it with you. It is my intention to complete and publish that next and it will be entitled, Until the Day Breaks. This story will go back in time to when she was a little girl living in Louisville, KY and bring us up to where we met her in Tainted Destiny, as a young undergraduate student and beyond. I want to show you who she was, the circumstances in her life that makes her grow into a young woman and a close-up view of her soul as struggles with the complexities of life to find her way. Melissa going to go through a lot, as I'd like to explore emotional abuse and same-sex domestic violence in this book. The story will delve into those issues and show us how anyone can quickly be one step away from hitting rock bottom (emotionally and physically) and what enables them to rebound or be swallowed by life. I'm working on it – so stay tuned!

Also in the back of my mind are Brianna and Pam. Many of you want to know what will be come of them and so do I. Funny enough, I even got some questions about Frank and Terrence!  I can tell you now that I do NOT know what is going to become of any of them but I DO look forward to discovering that in another book. I feel that there is more story to be told with these characters and I will get around to telling it in the near future.

That's it for now. I'll give another update soon!

#lesbian books, lesbian novels, lesbian fiction, queer fiction, bisexual books, bisexual novels, bisexual fiction, lgbt, gay, sgl

****UPDATE: THIS BOOK IS NOW AVAILABLE FROM SMASHWORDS.COM & AMAZON.COM for $.99!****

Ecstasy: An Erotic Vignette Featuring Kenya from Intimate Chaos will be available for Amazon Kindle, Sony ereaders as well as Blackberries, Palms, iPhones Smartphones, and Desktop PC (via Free Kindle app) on June 15, 2010 for only $.99! This vignette is a follow-up to my last collection entitled Illusions of Love: Two Erotic Vignettes Featuring Kenya (from my third novel, Intimate Chaos). Ecstasy pics up right where Illusions of Love left off (after Swinging!).
 

I will post a new blog in the coming weeks with a free excerpt!

I again want to hank everyone who purchased Illusions of Love and really hope you enjoyed it. And for those of you who haven't gotten it yet – what are you waiting for?! You can get it from Amazon.com or Smashwords.com for only $1.99!

Whew, what an interesting journey that production was. First and foremost, many thanks to all of those who came out to see the show, braving the gusty winds and crawling traffic! We had a wonderfully diverse crowd on Friday night and an excellent group on Saturday, coming from NYC all the way up from Philly! The cast had a great time and is very happy about all the wonderful comments that have poured in from patrons. Also, big thanks to M.Power Performing Arts for being a presenting sponsor as well as Goal Diggers Inc., for being a bronze sponsor!

Here are a few photos, some video clips may pop up in the near future as well. Until then, stay tuned for new show dates in different cities!

More pictures can be found on my Facebook Page.

***This discount is for Friday, May 7, 2010 ONLY*** Click HERE to purchase tickets and use promo code "CL50" to save 50% off!!!! (Click on the green "Buy Tickets" button and enter the code at checkout.)

Back for the third time, the hilarious stage play, Intimate Chaos is finally here! For Two Nights Only, the show will go up in Plainfield, New Jersey at the YWCA on May 7 and May 8, 2010.

You don't want to miss the performance because it's going to be bigger and better than ever! Cheril N. Clarke has teamed up with the Award-Winning Kash Goins to give you a stellar performance. Admission is limited so make sure you don't miss your chance to see the show. The last time we were in New Jersey the opening weekend was Sold Out before opening night!

Show times, press coverage, Video Clips and new cast photos are on the official website: www.intimatechaostheplay.com Order your tickets today! If you are unable to attend, think of giving away a pair of tickets as a birthday, Mother’s Day or “just because” gift to a special someone in your life.

Click HERE to purchase tickets and use promo code "CL50" to save 50% off!!!!

Quite often I hear about people struggling to get what they want in their romantic relationships. I even have a signature character in two of my novels whose life story seems to be a shining example of how not to behave in a relationship. This character is Sadira, the lead in my third and fourth novels, Intimate Chaos and Tainted Destiny. Even though I created her, I have issues with this character because sadly, she represents a great number of men and women who are stuck in dead-end relationships and are either clueless or don’t have the courage to stand up for themselves or just get out.

With all of that being said, here are five ways to communicate better with your spouse/partner/significant other.

1. If you are at the point in your life where you want a long-term relationship, do not waste time with people who you are not compatible with (people who do not have all of the core values you need in a partner). I firmly believe that love is NOT enough to make any relationship work. I’m not talking about you wanting someone who has a certain hair color or who is a certain height; those are superficial qualifications. I’m talking about religious beliefs (if any), intellectual level and willingness to be in a continuous state of personal improvement. If you know that it is important to you to have someone who wants children, do not stay in a relationship with someone who is wishy-washy on the topic in hopes that one day they will change. They probably won’t. If you know that you struggle with monogamy but want a primary relationship and someone to share your life with, don’t date people who hold steadfast to traditional two-person relationship structures – date people who embrace alternative lifestyles that coincide with your desires. I go back and forth on the old saying, “there is someone for everyone.” Is it true? I can’t say for sure (no one can), but I would like to think it could be true if people would just be realistic about their situation, their wants and their needs.  Perhaps if more of us would be strong enough to let go of long-held beliefs or go against societal norms that have proven over and over to be in direct contradiction to what it takes for us to be happy—whatever those beliefs are, as they could be anything, the old statement could be true.

2. Don’t say yes when you mean no. Why do people continue to do this? Forget about lying to spare someone else’s feelings, say what you mean and mean what you say. Express yourself by saying how you feel and then tell them what you would like to happen as a result. Don’t tell your partner what you think they want to hear if it’s not the truth because in the end, you will only hurt both of you. To contrast point number one, if you know that you’re not at a point in your life where you want to settle down then be honest and say so. Don’t be selfish because you want to hang on to the other person. Don’t lie about your ability to be comfortable in a long-term relationship because you think it’ll hurt them by admitting the truth. It’ll hurt them more if they spend the next year with you just for you to then say “you need space.”

3. Don’t try to mind read. Just ask. If you have the inkling that something isn’t quite right with your partner, ask them about it and be specific. This isn’t the time to beat around the bush. You don’t have to be accusatory with your questions either, just ask with genuine interest and an open mind for the truth.  Don’t ask your friends what they think your partner may be feeling or doing based on your partner’s actions, ask your partner. It’s no one’s business but the two of you and bringing other people into your relationship is just asking for drama, especially if you go against the advice of your friends—now you have the potential of hearing “I don’t you so,” OR them looking at you and your partner in a different light because they know too much about your relationship.

4. Don’t threaten to leave, call your exes or to go out and find someone new. There is a difference between telling your partner what you desire (“I don’t want to casually date right now, I’m seeking a wife/husband because I would like to start a family. If you don’t feel the same way then we shouldn’t date because it would be a waste of my time,”) and (“If you don’t want me there are a bunch of other women/men who do!”) See the difference? The latter is mature, honest and specific. It gets to the point and leaves no room for misunderstanding. As well, pay attention when your partner responds. Hear what they’re saying and take notice of their behavior over the next few weeks. Actually, pay more attention to what they do than what they say because we have a tendency to hear what we want to hear even when it goes against actions.

5. And finally, don’t scream, use silent treatment as a way out of an argument or emotional/physical as a way to resolve conflict. Silent treatment poisons a relationship. Nothing ever gets solved and both parties get an attitude. Just say what you have to say and/or listen to what your partner has to say. If one of you needs five minutes to process the truth like an adult then take it, but don’t walk out or throw a temper tantrum. If you do that and just “forget about it” or “move on,” there is a great chance that argument will come back up at a later date because it was never resolved properly.

To be continued…

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We start rehearsals this week and I'm so excited to be bringing this production back to New Jersey! Tickets have already started selling for both shows! There is LIMITED seating so if you're in the area and you want to check it out DO NOT WAIT UNTIL THE LAST MINUTE! The last time we were in New Jersey (for the premier), opening weekend was sold out! So, don't delay as there are only two shows this time: May 7 and May 8. Tickets are $20 in advance and will be $25 at the door. Click here to reserve your tickets Today.

WHAT OTHERS HAVE SAID:

"Take a sexy, sultry book brimming with drama and deceit, add actors and a set to bring it to life, and you've got yourself a play worth paying for!" – GO Magazine

"The brilliance of Cheril N. Clarke is astounding." – Out IN Jersey

"Lesbian novelist creates success out of Chaos." – Philadelphia Gay News

Intimate Chaos (the book) brings us dyke drama in all its glory as it chronicles Sadira and Jessie’s roller-coaster relationship. – Curve magazine

This question (or some variation of it) consistently attracts visitors to my blog. Several months ago I wrote an entry entitled Stud 4 stud, Femme 4 femme, are you a gay lesbian? etc. It got a lot of feedback on Twitter and Facebook so I’ve decided to write a new piece to piggyback and hopefully satisfy those who are searching and wondering what an AG is or what a stud dresses like.

With all that being said, I’m going to assume that those who are seeking answers to these questions are either young and new to ‘the life,’ or are from a different region and are just curious about the terms of their fellow lesbanians!

 An AG (Aggressive) and stud are both descriptions of lesbians who are more on the tomboy side of things when it comes to manner of dress and gender expression. She may be smooth GQ or she may be more urban—baggy jeans, baseball caps, etc. Either way, this is the box most people speak of when they’re talking about AGs and studs. I’m not going to get into sexual roles because I believe that is personal and unique to each woman. Also, I don’t believe intimate pleasures should be restricted or bound because of what on “expects” an AG or stud to do because of how she chooses to dress and express herself.

Unfortunately, a lot of younger urban lesbians tend to believe they must dress and behave this way if they’re naturally attracted to more feminine women—mimicking heterosexual relationship models of masculine/feminine pairing. To be honest, I once fell into this box. Well, to be more honest, it was actually a little bit of the following: 1) My attraction was to feminine women 2) If I dressed like a ‘girly girl‘ I would attracting studs, AGs and butches, all of whom I had no desire to attract and 3) I had self-esteem issues and felt more comfortable in bigger clothes because I felt safer and less noticed. I will admit that I have always been more comfortable in a hat and jeans than a skirt or dress, always trying to be like my one brother rather than any of my four sisters. But I’ve reached a level of comfort and maturity that I feel A-okay in either attire (except bikinis and such, that’s still a no-no:). To live in a box that only matters to a few (the urban LGBTQ community) is not for me. Through continuous improvement of self and being lucky enough to have the wife that I have, I am very secure and content with my ability to be versatile. I go about my days according to how I feel. Sometimes it’s more masculine and sometimes it’s more feminine. The point is that I dress for me and I hope that you will too.

Never continue to befriend people who are insensitive and closed-minded because they will only keep you where you are rather than encourage you to grow and define yourself. Don’t tolerate people who make jokes and make you feel less than because of your style. They will suck the joy out of your life if you allow them to. If feminine women is type of women you like then you’ll love the ones who accept you as you are and care more about what’s in your heart than what kind of sneakers you’re wearing.

For a deeper look at AGs you, might want to check out the documentary  “The Aggressives.”

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I swear I didn't know the launch date for Equally Wed was going to be today. Just when I was talking about my wedding pictures the article comes out!

Check out the magazine here! I feel so humbled to still be doing interviews about my wedding.

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