Archive for October, 2009

How many times have you or one of your friends complained that they haven't found the right woman or can't find the right woman? This is a frustrating point at which many of us will eventually find ourselves, but while some of us will continue to date the same type of woman over and over, others will actually stop, realizing that the reason they can't find who they want is because they haven't defined her. I mean, literally write down what qualities that are desired and which one are deal-breakers, unacceptable. A sample list of desired qualities could be any of the following:

-A woman who has good credit and knows what a FICO score is -A woman who knows which fork is the salad fork vs. the dinner fork

-A woman who is completely uninhibited in the bedroom

-A woman who understands that you and your child are a package deal

-A woman who is not into too much hair and makeup

-A woman who understands that lesbian love doesn't need to mimic that of traditional heterosexual roles

Likewise, a sample list of what is unacceptable could be any or none of the following:

-A woman who is emotionally or physically abusive

-A woman who chronically spends more than she earns

-A woman who does not believe in shaving

-A woman who is not comfortable unless she is in control and makes all of the decisions -A woman who has a child under the age of two

-A woman who has gold, platinum or otherwise decorated teeth

Lists are not the be all, end all in finding a suitable mate but they certainly are important and helpful. If you stick to your list, you could very well save yourself a lot of time and energy. If you make a list and decide to go against it for someone, there is a great chance that the one thing that bothers you about them is something you made a note about on your list (either they have it and you hate it or they don’t and you need it). You don’t want to be kicking yourself after spending six months or more with that person hoping they would magically change to fit your needs. If you know exactly what type of woman you want, what you will and will not tolerate, you will be able to cut down the time it takes to find her. But of course, you can’t really know who is best for you until you know yourself, your strengths and your weaknesses. Perhaps the first list should be to define the type of woman you want to be. What do you think? *If you like this entry, please share it.* Follow me on Twitter @Cherilnc

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Book trailer for my fifth novel, Losing Control

Download the audio interview here.

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